Hump day funny : Oldie but a goodie

The Lone Ranger and Tonto were camped in the desert when a rattlesnake bit the Lone Ranger on the penis. He said to Tonto, quick, ride into town and get the doctor. Tonto rides into town and says to the dr, Lone Ranger has been bitten by a rattlesnake, what should i do. The dr said, Tonto, you must make an incision and suck all the poison out. Tonto rides back out to the Lone Ranger who said, Tonto, what did the dr say. Lone ranger, doctor say you going to die.

A new segment called ( Things Wise People have Said )

Will Rogers, who died in a 1935 plane crash, was one of the greatest political sages America has ever known. Some of his sayings:

* There are two theories to arguing with a woman. Neither works.

* Never miss a good chance to shut up.

* If you find yourself in a hole, stop digging.

* The quickest way to double your money is to fold it and put it back into your pocket.

* There are three kinds of men:
The ones that learn by reading. The few who learn by observation. The rest of them have to pee on the electric fence and find out for themselves.

* Good judgment comes from experience, and a lot of that comes from bad judgment.

* If you're riding ahead of the herd, take a look back every now and then to make sure it's still there.

* Lettin'the cat outta the bag is a whole lot easier than putting it back.

* After eating an entire bull, a mountain lion felt so good he started roaring. He kept it up until a hunter came along and shot him.
The moral: When you're full of bull, keep your mouth shut.

Lots of wisdom for a day !!! go the bay !!

Monday funny

Inspirational story.

Just having a chat with a bloke in the pub before heading home. I discovered he was worth around 5 million and he shared the amazing story of how he got so rich.
Basically, when he left school he had little or no formal qualifications but he was good with his hands and he knew how to sell. He knew he was never going to make it in an office job so it was nose to the grindstone time.
He told me how he left school at 15 and bought an old caravan and spent a few weeks fixing it up, he then sold it for profit. He then used the money to buy another and so on. He did this a lot over the next 35 years, buying, repairing, selling, buying again. He eventually moved onto motorhomes in the 90's and then onto cars in the last nine years.
He worked long hours, sometimes not seeing his wife and kids for days in pursuit of his goal.
Then his uncle died and left him 5 million.