Late Sunday funny

Oh dear!!!

For 2 years a man was having an affair with an Italian woman.
One night, she confided in him that she was pregnant.
Not wanting to ruin his reputation or his marriage,
He paid her a large sum of money if she would go to Italy to secretly have the child.
If she stayed in Italy to raise the child, he would also provide child support until the child turned 18.
She agreed, but asked how he would know when the baby was born.
To keep it discrete, he told her to simply mail him a post card, and write 'Spaghetti' on the back.
He would then arrange for the child support payments to begin.
One day, about 9 months later, he came home to his confused wife. 'Honey!' she said, 'you received a very strange post card today.'
'Oh, just give it to me and I'll explain it later,' he said.
The wife obeyed and watched as her husband read the card, turned white, and fainted.
On the card was written: Spaghetti, Spaghetti, Spaghetti, Spaghetti, Spaghetti.
Three with meatballs, two without. Send extra sauce.

Sunday funny

Prince Charles was driving around his mother’s estate when he accidentally ran over her favourite dog, a Corgi, crushing it to a pulp.

He got out of his Range Rover and sat down on the grass totally distraught.

The whole world was against him and now his mother would go ballistic.

Suddenly he noticed a lamp half-buried in the ground.

He dug it up, polished it and immediately a Genie appeared.

"You have freed me from thousands of years of imprisonment, " said the Genie"

As a reward I shall grant you one wish."

"Well, " said the Prince, "I have all the material things I need, but let me show you this dog."

They walk over to the splattered remains of the dog.

"Do you think you could bring this dog back to life for me..?" the Prince asked.

The Genie carefully looked at the remains and shook his head.

"This body is too far gone for even me to bring it back to life.

Is there something else you would like..?"

The Prince thought for a minute, reached into his pocket and pulled out two photos.

"I was married to this beautiful woman called Diana, " said Prince Charles, showing the genie the first photo.

"But now I love this woman called Camilla, " and he showed the genie the second photo.

"You see Camilla isn’t beautiful at all, so do you think you can make Camilla as beautiful as Diana..?"

The Genie studied the two photographs and after a few minutes said, "Let’s have another look at that dog again" !!

A great day was had by 104 at safety bay bowling clubs Patrons & Season Opening day.
With a picture of our clubs 70th , club patrons Deb Hamblin & John Biglin with new club President Paul Imrie.

Announcement :

Yesterday at the club Patron & Season Opening Day There has been some questions asked about what can be worn playing Club Championships at safety bay bowling club.
So here are the requirements as outlined in the new club Handbook now available at the club.

# THE CLUB PENNANT UNIFORM MUST BE WORN FOR ALL PENNANTS, ALL CLUB CHAMPIONSHIPS & CLUB OPENING DAY.
# Current New & some Old uniforms are both Ok
( must be Bowls Australia approved top) no logo , not approved.

# From Opening Day until after the last pennant game, the club uniform or any bowls australia approved logo Top must be worn for bankers & drawn bowls on the following days.
# Saturday Mixed Drawn Bowls.
# Tuesday Morning Bankers.
# Thursday Men's Bankers

# Neat Casual Wear may be worn for the following club events.
# Monday Men's Pairs.
# Wednesday Jackpot Mixed Pairs.
# Sunday Men's Scroungers.
# Friday Mixed Scroungers.
# Social Bowls ( Tuesday Community & Corporate event )

Your Event Match Committee is the Controlling body .
Any Questions to them for your first port of call.

Your Directors of Bowls for this Year are:
# Lyn Scott & Steve Adams
( Mobile No's are in the club handbook )

Good bowling everyone & go the bay.

Sunday funny

A doctor and his wife were having a big argument at breakfast. "You aren't so good in bed either!" he shouted and stormed off to work. By midmorning, he decided he'd better make amends and phoned home.After many rings, his wife picked up the phone."What took you so long to answer?">"I was in bed.""What were you doing in bed this late?" "Getting a second opinion."